"Let It Go"

First let me tell you that I am tormented by the music from Disney's "Frozen." My children constantly sing the songs and play them on the piano (don't get me wrong..the songs are beautifully written).

My students beg and beg to watch the movie in Spanish class. It has become a running joke. Overheard in the hallway after class...

"Did she let you watch Frozen today?"

"No, she made us watch some Poncho Villa movie."

I simply don't appreciate the sentiment behind the song, "Let It Go." Good girl goes wild. Uses her power to surround herself with the lifestyle of her choosing. Destroys the village and hurts people in the process (a fact little emphasized in the movie).

Still, this phrase has become representative of my approach to life. I'm working hard to let go of clutter, including the HOUSE, the contents of the BARN, and my GARDEN SHEDS at the property we haven't sold yet (even with the truck broken down). I want to downsize my flock of sheep and sort out clothes that no longer fit the children. I'm letting go of toys, movies, and nicknacks.

I'm working to let go of worry. I want to be able to shake off the ever-present feeling that I could be doing more for my students. I want to completely give God my worries about the boys and my husband and their safety and progress.

There's one feeling that I seem to hold onto more than any other. It surrounds my oldest's high school graduation, his grad party, and the award events that take place over the next month.

He has worked so very, very hard over the last several years to graduate at the top of his class. He has suffered injuries and the loss of his closest childhood friend. Most recently our school lost a beloved band teacher. J had played 17 shows side-by-side with Mr. B in the pit orchestra. They had marched and played jazz together.

But J has played game after game, performance after performance, without our extended family present.

They don't live far away. I send out invitation after invitation with silence the only response.

Several newspapers have recognized J's accomplishments with front page splashes and inclusion in special editions and lists. He has received kudos from The American Legion, the school, and even President Obama.

It's all much appreciated...but I still wish our families would come around.

I wish they would come to his graduation or his final piano recital. The empty chairs at the table across from us at this week's Convocation Dinner had me staring at the other grandparents in the room.

I wish they would call him and say, "good job" or "I'm proud of you."

So today I'll keep singing the song I hate, to give myself some added "cheering on." Let it go. Let this go too.