Incidentals

Many years ago, when my sister and I "shared" our family cottage, she advised me that "small holes sink a large ship." She was recommending a "tighter" management of the building and property. At the time, I had small children and she wasn't married yet.

Small holes are "sinking" me at work. Supervisors aren't paying attention to pay rates or negative block time when approving payroll so that later, when employees get their paychecks and realize they've been shorted, I have to soothe their pain. Both of my boss' daughters received short checks last Friday.

While my husband is working far away, the "incidentals" that pop up are also draining me....a $25 fee for a football combine, $300 for a class trip to Albany, the teenagers' gas money, $50 for two M.I.A. Netflix movies, a new knee brace for the track star, keeping milk stocked in the fridge...

Despite my constant begging that the boys shorten their showers, turn off the water after chores, and turn off lights, I don't see much cooperation. Our water bill, electric bills, insurance bills, and animals bills are mammoth.

I wish that I knew the "magic trick" to get the boys to notice these details: their ball caps on the counter, candy wrappers by the computer, shoes in the middle of the entryway, collectible cards in the fruit bowl.

If small holes sink a big ship I am so SUNK.

If I kept my focus on the dirty socks under the couch, the tools left out in the rain, or the stress of trying to meet every demand from school, the jobs, and the household, I'd probably feel pretty sad.

Another way to look at it has to do with the long view and the law of thermodynamics. Time will see to it that the house will eventually fall down. The children will eventually grow up and move away. I may well die while still owing Verizon for a cell phone that a boy dropped into orange juice (it certainly feels as if I will never finish paying that off).

For now I can only do "my best" and keep moving forward. I still try to teach the boys to be tidy and take care of their things. I will still try to catch all of the mistakes in a payroll for 2,000+ employees and I will still try to manage my classes well.

Keep moving forward...until the ship sinks :)

As for my sister, who now has small children of her own, I do wonder how the "small holes" thing is going for her.