Reality Check

In my opinion, there's nothing quite like a visit to the county nursing home to give me a swift "reality check" kick in the butt.

I've been feeling frumpy, grumpy and dumpy over the fact that I am surrounded by 20-somethings who swear and whine incessantly. The hot topics of conversation are "Jersey Girls," binge drinking and pregnancy tests. I hate how they dress. I find them lazy and lacking in moral fiber.

I text my husband from the store, "It's a circus here." and "I wish I worked with people my own age."

I have no one at work to talk to. At least about anything interesting (to me).

On Tuesday I visited my grandmother at the county nursing home. Reading her journal, which we keep to help her memory, I learn that she has just been moved to a double room without a view from a private room with a lovely view. She has very little space for her personal belongings. Quite frankly, she has very little personal space at all.

She wheels herself out into the hallway where she sits in the common area by the nurses' station. Another resident sits behind her in the hall, babbling on and on in nonsensical phrases.

My grandmother says, "At first I thought a radio was on somewhere and I was hoping it would be turned down." In case I missed the reference, she smiles and tilts her head toward the babbler.

During my visit we see another resident pacing. Down the hallway. Turn around. Repeat. She doesn't know why he does that.

Some of the residents don't speak at all. For some that do, she's not really sure if they recognize her. But then, she thinks, maybe they do because it seems as if they've saved up questions overnight to ask her the next day.

My great uncle, Grandma's brother-in-law, is in the same nursing home. He spends the day walking laps around the entire building. This time, I've sat in his favorite hallway chair and I try to time my move to another seat by the minutes it might take him to make the return lap.

I don't time it quite right. He sees me in the chair and I call him over, offering to move. He shakes his head and moves on. He suffers from Parkinson's. Every day my great aunt visits her husband and her sister here.

"Do you know," Grandma says," that some people don't get any visitors at all? It's very sad."