Spectacles

Glasses are not merely an accessory for me. They are a necessary evil. After wearing my contacts for the first 16 hours of the day, I put them on, sit or lay on the couch or my bed, and very soon, a child (or the poodle) comes over to cuddle and pushes them back into the bridge of my nose or deep into my temples.

It's a ritual I savor. I read two or three pages of a magazine and then wake myself back up by my loud snoring, throw the magazine on the floor and turn off the light.

It's been many, many years since the purchase of new glasses. Please don't ask me how long. I don't remember.

I went to the optometrist/optician yesterday and they asked me over and over, "how OLD are these glasses?" The experience stirred up a wide range of childhood fears (and grown up frustrations, like trying to keep my 4-year old entertained for two hours in a small dark room).

"You really do need to have your eyes dilated."("I'm sorry, I can't. I don't have anyone to drive me home." 10x)

"You need such a strong prescription that they don't even make contacts in that power!"

"Your face is such an unusual size and shape." "And your eyes, they are set very close together."

Unless you choose the super expensive, high tech lenses with anti-glare coating, your glasses will be very thick and heavy" (and you will look like a...)

"Well ok, if you like those frames. I was taught that people with a head shaped like yours would look better in sharp angles."

$350 later (after my insurance benefit) my 4-year old was finally free to go back to swinging from vines. We treated ourselves to filled cupcakes at the bakery and I drove the hour home, without dilated pupils.