A Teacher's Sense of Humor

I'm trying not to lose my sense of humor.

I really don't feel like teaching anymore...putting on dress clothes, smiling, preparing lessons, standing up in front of the group, projecting my voice, pretending to be enthusiastic about a subject I've taught for twenty years, looking out at a sea of disinterested, sleepy faces...

It's that time of year, I suppose. And I'm tired. It's 8:00 p.m. on a three-job day and I have another hour or so of class time to go. One student, who always stays late to chat, will probably stay late again tonight.

I'm hungry. I misplaced my debit card and then the little bit of cash I had blew away in today's wind storm, so I couldn't stop for dinner.

This morning, in my high school class, I gave the students an assignment that was supposed to take 40 minutes. They were asked to use the chapter vocabulary to create a movie proposal (the chapter is full of movie-making words like "director," "script," "scenery," etc.). Only one or two of them followed the instructions. The rest spent their time writing silly "Hang-over" style scripts or love stories.

Ugh. I didn't even want to grade those horrible papers. I rubber-stamped "I'd like to see more of the chapter vocabulary" on all of them and left the building.

Finally, tonight, while running down a floor to my college office from my classroom on the top level, I passed a classroom where Math professor had just yelled out, "Idiots!" to his class."Who in the world comes up with X,Y,Z as an answer to this problem?!"

I was a bit shocked, but still, I laughed and laughed, because I too have those emotions bottled up.

This semester, and the school year, can't end soon enough.

Above Average Nonsense

Each week, Garrison Keillor shares with listeners the latest news and views from the little town where "all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average." (Prairie Home Companion: NPR)

My children are strong and healthy and for that I am very grateful. They are, by some measures, exceptionally strong. The oldest, for example, has broken numerous school weight-lifting records. This past weekend, in Philadelphia, he and his classmates visited the famous steps where "Rocky" trained. He thought is would be fun to HOP up and down those same steps (leaving several students behind him, exhausted, as they tried to do the same).

The second-oldest throws shot put and discus competitively. Broad-shouldered, sporting a military haircut, he can be an imposing figure. He told me, before this band trip trip to Philadelphia, that when teachers need someone strong and responsible to serve as a helper, they call out for one of my boys. By that, I'm flattered and proud.

Yet, that same boy didn't have the sense not to take a knife with him on the trip. Now we are facing a hearing with the school district about this code of conduct infraction.

Raising exceptionally strong, boyish boys (a crop of them!) is exhausting.

The youngest two haven't yet learned to control their impulses. They are energetic and physical - spinning ceaselessly on the furniture when we go visiting, climbing the shelves in retail establishments when we go shopping, and climbing trees to the point that the trees bend over while I try to "sit" at home. They play with fire, knives, and saws.

They are fascinated by cammo, guns, and warfare. This weekend I bought a new kiddie pool (as an act of generosity). Before it was even filled with water, the youngest had broken it with a sharpened metal broom handle. He looked sad when I scolded him, both of us knowing that he was just "playing" when he struck the pool with the weapon his older brother had provided.

Strong, energetic children make BIG messes.

They rip through clothes, over-pour their drinks, and leave a wide path of destruction behind them.

It's a full time job to keep them safe...or perhaps more accurately stated, to keep our home and neighborhood safe from them.

The Next Chapter

Spring is that time of rapid new growth (can we still call this Spring...it snowed here today).

I came back from D.C. and a few hours later my husband left for a long work trip. I took a deep breath Monday morning and tried to prepare myself for "the next chapter." A month of single mom-hood.

The amusement park where I work is about to open. We are all frenzied, trying to hire and train new employees, stock shelves, and mail out tickets in time for opening day. The computers seem "buggy" and I'm constantly running into errors in reports and payroll. I want a quiet day just to catch up (that's unlikely).

In some cases I'm eager to finish up a project or begin a new semester. At the college where I teach we have three weeks of classes left and I look forward to an end to my Tuesday night obligation. I'm also looking forward to the end of the school year and teaching 11th grade.

A Load Off My Mind

Our oldest is VERY close to making a final decision about college. We've been at this college search for a year now, and the final deadline looms close - May 1st. I offered to pay the deposit for him on his final choice. Instead, he asked for ONE more week to research before we put any money down.

As his dad said, we'll be glad to head in just ONE direction with our "planning for college" to-do list.

Yesterday I got mail off to Japan. That was a load off of my mind. It always strikes me as a "big" chore to empty the PO box and then fill out the many forms needed to get items through customs.

I talked to my college about their request that I go teach in the prison system. I learned that they would prefer to keep me off in my online classes and find someone new to teach at the correctional facility. Phew!

God sent me a new assistant at my full-time job who is funny, pleasant, easy-to-train, and very smart. She is exactly what I needed to lighten the mood in the office.

Last night He sent me a visit from my former TA, who is currently studying stand-up comedy. He stayed for the night class, and worked his magic in the room to bring laughs and smiles back into what had been an atmosphere of doom and regret. Students can feel very downtrodden at this point in the semester.

I love the feeling of getting rid of clutter, shortening the to-do list, and hitting the "easy button." I'm VERY grateful for the people God sends my way to lighten my load.